Hannahboomzx

I got invited to al-Haram at such a young age. I was barely 23. Let's be honest, never in my whole life would I have thought I would be invited here in my twenties. I always thought I'd probably consider umrah when I'm in my forties or so. But God is so great. He knew this was the one experience I needed. And I couldn't be more blessed. 

Let's back up a bit shall we,

I only started considering umrah back in 2017, when and a good friend of mine mentioned that the one place she wish she had gone before getting married was Umrah. Of course, I didn't think much then. I was nowhere near getting married. But deep down, something sparked, and it became something I yearned to do. 

Then it came time for annual leave plotting - ok let's be honest, plotting for leave as a nurse sucks because you have to book a year in advance and you don't know the possible tour slots or your memo for 2 weeks of AL will be granted. But Maa Sha Allah, He truly aligned it beautifully. I told my mum my intention for Umrah and she was on board right away. It took my dad quite a while to agree since he was so sure he wasn't ready, but he had to anyway, cause yknow, mahram and all. 

Alhamdulillah I got the slots requested and eventually it was all just tawakkal and waiting for a tour group to open up the specific dates I was on AL. We started going for classes with TM Fouzy (strongly not recommended) and by God's grace they had only one tour slot for the dates I had. If it wasn't jodoh then I don’t  know what is man. 

Of course a couple of months before we had to go and after all payments were made, I got transferred to ICU. At this point, let's be honest, my tawakkal level was over the roof man. I mean, seriously, if I didn't get my original AL slots, I would probably be so broken and just cry. And it didn't help that my SNM only came back from her leave a month after I came in. So basically for a month, I was having mini attacks, fearing my AL slots would be rejected. 

Of course I'm overly dramatic la, and got my slot. HAHA. 

But I'm not gonna lie the months leading up to the day was extremely intense too. My mother always said that even if you paid and is on the way there already, if you haven't stepped into al-Haram, you are still not invited yet. 

And that scared the bejeezus out of me. 

For one, I ride everyday to work and I've had this gut-feeling I'll get into some kind of accident and not be able to make it there. (My gut feelings are never wrong, and I eventually got into one, a month after we came back lol.) So I prayed, every single day that He would invite me there. That I'd be able to see the Ka'abah once in my life. Even during the bus ride there I was so engulfed with fear that we wouldn't make it. 

But He is truly great and I am beyond humbled to be able to make it to His holy land. But more on that later. 

Until next time. 

With love, Hannah 💕 

Not gonna lie, I was beyond shooked when my SNM accepted my resignation just like that. No threat to call my parents, no asking me to re-think my decisions, no self-doubt, nada. I'd like thank God for making this such a smooth and easy journey. Alhamdulillah. I mean I've had major panic attacks for the past month, and to know that He eased my way through this is such a blessing. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. I'm pretty sure this was His way of telling me I got His stamp of approval for moving on. Who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

On the other hand, my colleagues couldn't wait to get rid of me, kicking me out of whatsapp groups and what not. Hahaha. They added me back in of course to warn everyone and remind them to send their last wishes. Hahahah. Truly irritating all these people.

I came into the ICU with absolutely no intentions of making friends. Just wanted to come in, do my job and go home. But Allah gave me so much more. He gave me friends. Friends I could easily talk to, work with and just be myself around. Honestly, I've had a more enjoyable time in the past year than I have my entire nursing career. Management is pretty bad but, really, great (non-toxic) colleagues truly make up for it. 

There really is a sense of relief knowing all this resignation nonsense is settled, and I don't have to worry about it being rejected and whatnot. But no doubt, I do feel sad and scared to move out of my comfort zone. I mean, I have perfected my craft for the past 4 years. But I believe there are bigger and better things out there waiting for me. And my rezeki, will be wherever He wants it to be. In shaa Allah. 

Ending this with a timely reminder of my favourite quote from A Cinderella Story,

Rizal, the fiancé, (wow, i totally haven't introduced him here, I should tho) has always been telling me to have faith in the big man up there, but I swear, I'm only human and I'm scared shitless. And of course, it doesn’t help that he's been planning this wedding years before he met me, so he's financially set. I, on the other hand, am a broke ass bitch.

Anyhoo, I submitted, or attempted to, submit my resignation yesterday and it went sooooo much better than I thought. I mean yeah, she brought up the whole "You promoted to SSN already right?" nonsense. But other than that, no objections? Sis shooked. Alhamdulillah. 

So I guess it's time now to just go with the flow, have faith and P R A Y that He has this all planned out perfectly for me. In shaa Allah. 

Make prayers for me ya - 

to get through school, to have enough money for the wedding, to have a successful wedding, to have a good career afterwards and to have a blissful marriage.